Image via: flickr
A few days a go I received an e-mail, I will not disclose any information to respect the privacy of the author but I was asked in a shy manner to remove a photo I had taken of the subject. This person thought the image I had taken of them looked very ugly and unflattering. At first, I thought it was a joke since I thought the image was stunning and beautiful but then I realized the subject felt really uncomfortable with the close-up image. I removed the photo but something about this bothered me, how can this person believe they looked unattractive when in fact, they’re gorgeous! We all perceive ourselves differently, what I may find beautiful may be the opposite for someone else.
Years ago, I thought I looked very plain and unattractive but as time passed I learned to accept who I was and became more comfortable in my skin. However, I have come across many beautiful women who think they are unattractive because they’re not tall or thin enough. In reality many of us are not satisfied with our appearance, however we can always find outward influences as the root of this problem but the only way to change our insecurities is to look within and change the way we perceive ourselves.
We turn on the TV, flip through magazines, look at ads and find images of the perfect hair and face but attempting to become perfect copies of what the media wants us to believe as being beautiful will only fill us with self doubt. So before you go out today, stop and look at yourself in the mirror and appreciate what’s looking back at you! Here are some tips that will help you take control of your image and make you feel like the prettiest being on the planet :)
- Stop Criticizing Yourself!
Stop comparing yourself to Kim Kardashian or Angelina Jolie, just because you have different features doesn’t mean you’re not attractive, you’re beautiful in your unique way and it’s the diversity of human beings that makes us different and special. You can spend your entire life trying to change what you dislike about your appearance , your nose, hair and face, but if you’re not happy with who you are on the inside, no amount of plastic surgery or make-up will make you feel better about yourself.
- Find Your Special Attributes:
Maybe you have beautiful lips or gorgeous legs, take advantage of what you like the most about yourself and show it off, dress up with shorter lengths or play up your gorgeous lips with bright colors. Hey, there’s nothing wrong with showing the world your beautiful attributes but most of all be confident, there’s nothing more attractive than someone who beams with self-assurance.
- Love Yourself
Someone very special to me said, “it is our imperfections that makes us human” I still carry these words with me because no one is perfect and maybe you do not look like a model or a celebrity but that’s ok because physical beauty can only take you so far but confidence and self love can make you appealing and attractive no matter where you are. It is your personality and individuality that will attract others to you as a person. Take a good look at your reflection today and tell yourself that you’re wonderful and beautiful and let the whole world admire what a special being you are.
Here are some wonderful self-reflection quotes that will inspire you:
“I am Me. In all the world, there is no one else exactly like me. Everything that comes out of me is authentically mine, because I alone chose it — I own everything about me: my body, my feelings, my mouth, my voice, all my actions, whether they be to others or myself. I own my fantasies, my dreams, my hopes, my fears. I own my triumphs and successes, all my failures and mistakes.
Because I own all of me, I can become intimately acquainted with me. By so doing, I can love me and be friendly with all my parts. I know there are aspects about myself that puzzle me, and other aspects that I do not know — but as long as I am friendly and loving to myself, I can courageously and hopefully look for solutions to the puzzles and ways to find out more about me.
However I look and sound, whatever I say and do, and whatever I think and feel at a given moment in time is authentically me. If later some parts of how I looked, sounded, thought, and felt turn out to be unfitting, I can discard that which is unfitting, keep the rest, and invent something new for that which I discarded. I can see, hear, feel, think, say, and do. I have the tools to survive, to be close to others, to be productive, and to make sense and order out of the world of people and things outside of me.
I own me, and therefore, I can engineer me. I am me, and I am Okay.
Denis2005 Virginia Satir quotes (American Psychologist and Educator, 1916-1988)
This is the story of a robot who wanted to look like the human on TV….
Hope you lovelies have a great weekend!
Much love,
Glendy
I have had the same thing happen where I take a pretty shot of someone, and they come to me and say “no, you can’t put that on the net – I look disgusting.” It made me doubt the beauty of my photos – the good stuff that my artistic inner eye sees, though I never doubted the beauty of that person.
It still sort of stings when someone looks at a beautiful picture I’ve taken of them and says, “no, that’s AWFUL.” My camera doesn’t lie, so who’s the one lying about the beauty in a picture? The criticisms we often tell ourselves about our own beauty are often not even close to the truth.
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Great post, Glendy. We all definitely have our points of doubt, but learning to accept and love what we see in the mirror is one thing we should strive for.
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Hi Birdie,
I agree, my camera captured something beautiful, the camera captures a moment but many do not perceive themselves like we see them. Sometimes the doubt and insecurity shows up when you show someone a photo of themselves, it’s sad because they cannot see how beautiful they are to the rest of the world.
Much love,
Glendy
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Glendy, I LOVE this post. I can be completely guilty of over-criticizing my looks, especially when it’s in a picture– captured for all eternity! You’re right though– it’s better to be oneself than a bad copy of someone else. I love the kitten-lion pic too. Good message hun. :)
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I really liked those quotes at the end. I have to say, reading and studying “I’m OK, You’re OK” many years ago really helped me. Stupid name but great book which simplifies Transactional Analysis. Learning to live authentically – that’s what we’re here for :)
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I love this post Glendy!
I think that the public is getting fed up of the perfect look and is turning to more ‘normal’ looking girls for inspiration. While I was at NYFW I noticed all the US tv presenters were like mannequins – pretty dolls with too much make-up like Barbie. Then I saw Peaches Geldof and Alexa Chung, both absolutely gorgeous in their own right but more like the cool girl next door that you want to hang out with. I loved their effortless style and messed up hair rather than the preened, pretty look. Other girls should look at women like Alexa and Peaches for inspiration rather than trying too hard to be perfect – that’s SOOOO 2007! Be comfortable in your own skin and don’t try to conform to the ideal image, especially because the ideal image is changing to a more diverse, edgy, individual look that is all about being uniquely you! xx
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This is such a wonderful post. We have to stop being so critical. I realized a long time ago, to look like a model I would to weigh half of what I weigh now. My am is to look good in what I wear and accentuate my natural attributes, high cheekbones, my slanted sleepy eyes, wide hips and top it all off with fabulous shoes.
I find beauty and inspiration everywhere, but it’s sometimes hard to find that beauty in my own reflection… Thanks for this wonderful post, gorgeous lady…
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I have the condition Alopecia Areata. Basically, my white blood cells attack my hair follicles and I end up with perfectly round bald spots on my head.
That didn’t stop me, I still donated my hair to locks of love, I still style my hair the way I want to (except for short hair due to the fact its a tad bit uncomfortable feeling cold air on my bald spots) But whenever the topic of Balding has come up among friends and colleagues (and my students) I enjoy the fact that I can say “Yes I am going bald!” And physically show my spots.
My mother preffers me not to show off my spots, but whatever, if push came to shove, I’ll be the only teacher in the school with a bald head. I’m not going to wear a wig because society preffer women with long lucious hair. I’m going to be proud of the fact that I’m one of 2% of people who have this condition. If I wanted unique, I sure got it!
BTW, you can donate hair to the Alopecia foundation for children, especially teenage girls who do have this condition and really feel alienated from it.
LOVE!
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I luved ur post so much hun !! I am soo behind with everything, but this wk I will be back to blogging and commenting regularly once my new lay out is done xxx
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This is a great post! I used to feel shy about posting pictures of myself on my blog, but now I’m like whatever because I love who I am and that’s really all that matters. This was a really great message for young women!
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such wisdom. love the post.
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Glendy this is a beautiful and inspiring post.
It’s sort of funny, I think everyone goes through their silly days when they don’t feel pretty. I think it can even be due to your mood. Sometimes when I wake up I’m just like “blaaaa I feel like crap today” Then other days I feel great.
Everyone is different and you are absolutely right, people should embrace what they have.
xoxo P.S you my dear are gorgeous ;-)
What a fantastic post! It’s true that sometimes it takes another person to point out someones beauty.
Everyone has insecurities and I remember when I first started my blog, I was wary about posting up my picture…worried that I wasn’t as pretty or as tall as most of the other bloggers. I now know that it doesn’t matter and that no matter what, people like you for you.
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Great post. I do admit I fall into that state of mind when I hate seeing pictures of myself on Facebook but I have always had self-esteem issues :/ I now make an effort to feel good about myself as opposed to always being down :]
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[...] How to embrace your true beauty – what a sweet article! [...]
Oh, what a lovely post.
I think we are always so self critical, all we see is perceived flaws and not what others see.
I always see big nose, fat chin! It’s hard to keep a positive mind set.
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what a wonderful post! as a wardrobe consultant…it is sad to see how many women do not see their beauty…and the beauty is that we are all different…and thank god for that!
most women see their “flaws” magnified compared to how others view them…
as women…we tend to be so critical of ourselves…magazines don’t help…but we can help each other…by pointing out the good in each other!
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I really like this post :) I wish everyone could learn to love themselves just the way they are xx
i’m glad you did this post! this is why i think blogging is so wonderful, not everyone is a freaking supermodel. there is so much insecurity we are surrounded by and it makes me sad. but i will tell you this. i am very secure about my image surrounding my style but when it comes to my looks i am aging and not as “pretty” as i used to be and have some insecurity about it. well the other day i get a hater comment from someone saying that “they can’t figure out if i’m a girl or a guy” and that shit ate me up for a while. i like the fact that i have a unique look and have always sort of prided myself on it, but for someone to be so cruel? wow! and i can understand the person not wanting there pic up. we do all have our own insecurities about ourselves and like you said, it’s interesting because you were thinking the exact opposite. how do we get to a place where we feel completely comfortable and secure? i live in los angeles where it is ten times worse. if you are 25 you must start getting botox. it’s ridiculous. sorry this is a novel and all over the place. totally venting. i love your blog so much gorgeous!!
xxx
t
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